Danny

Danny A. Walters Jr (born February 24, 1964) is the main protagonist of the series The Tourettes Guy, and has suffered with Tourettes Syndrome for over 30 years. He wears a neck brace and also commonly wears a Tony The Tiger T-shirt and short pants, but he can occasionally be seen wearing a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey. He lives in Columbus, Ohio. The only clue about his age is that in a 2004 interview, It is mentioned that he is a Tourettes Syndrome sufferer for over 30 years, which was confirmed by the initial rumors of his death which was on the front page of the official Tourettes Guy also website.

Danny is portrayed by actor Anthony L. Six.

"FUUUUUUUUUCK!"

Food and Drinks that Danny Likes

• Bacon and Eggs (he also does not like to have to repeat himself when he requests this to Shirlena)
• Cheeseburgers (with PICKLES and KETCHUP on them, and don't load it up with a bunch of bullshit!)
• Biggie Fries (and with some SHIT to DRINK)
• Frosted Flakes (presumably)
• Total (don't talk shit about it)
• Marshmallows (he doesn't like them being put back)
• Beer (he is seen drinking this in almost every video)
• Fish Sticks (except when they're as hard as tits)
• Beef Stew
• Pizza (When he wants to order it)
• 30 Cases of Pickles (even if his son thinks the whole house is gonna smell like pickles)
• Ice Cream (Even if the Dairy Queen is fucking him)
• Eating Popcorn
• Peanut Butter (Except when he can't open the jar, as then he wants it to fuck him)

Things that Danny Likes

• Tony the Tiger (he always wears him on a T-shirt)
• Randy Travis (Don't wrinkle Danny's poster of him)
• Grandma Jenelle (God bless her, but she's old as fuck!)
• Playing Pool
• Puff Daddy (Better than that piece of shit, Sting)
• The Lion King
• Alf
• The Mighty Duck Movies/Sequels (After he takes a piss, leaves the bathroom and then wants to talk about it)
• Scooby Doo marathons on Cartoon Network (sometimes, but he said "shit" after he saw the 12 hour marathon)
• Bowling (Don't fuck with him when he's trying to make a strike)
• Mowing the lawn (except when bees attack him while he's mowing it; he also doesn't like it when his lawn mower speeds away from him when he lets go of it)
• Taking a Huge Shit (Even if the Janitor gets Angry and the toilet gets clogged)
• Watching an Exercise Program while eating chips
• Playing Poker (Don't make him lose) (FUCK ME)
• Watching Unsolved Mysteries (Unsolved Shit! Find out who gives a shit about big-foot, so FUCK 'em!)
• Tying Pat Sajak to a telephone pole and letting a UPS Guy Butt-fuck him!
• The concept that pissing out the window and shitting out the window are two different things
• Lesbians (That just means she likes what I like.)
• Calling his dad 'Mall Santa'
• Calling Shirlena's grandpa 'an ass'
• Finding Shirlena's stories funny without taking them seriously
• Toilet Paper
• Magnum P.I. (Holy Fuck! Get the Fuck outta my BITCH! SHIT!)
• Mortal Kombat
• Professional Wrestling
• Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Now he’d be the first to tell you his shit stinks!)

Things that Danny Hates

• Squirrels fucking his tomatoes (Interrupted call when one such incident occurred.)
• Dicks or Cocks
• Dairy Queen (they have fucked him two times)
• That faggot with the tuba
• Dusty Rhodes (MAN HE WAS A PIECE OF SHIT!)
• Rap music
• Having to repeat himself (especially if he wants Shirlena to make him bacon and eggs for breakfast)
• Big Foot (Who gives a shit about Big Foot?)
• Salt (FUCK SALT!)
• Peach tree growers (and peach trees)
• Colgate Toothpaste (the one with Tartar Control)
• Sting (Better be the Puff Daddy version of this song!)
• Burgers being loaded up with a bunch of bull shit
• Things that make him feel like a piece of shit
• Items having to be put back in supermarkets because he can't afford them (especially marshmallows and beer)
• 5 Cent Sundays (According to Danny, his phone company can stick them up their fucking ass)
• Having to switch phone companies
• Having cereal thrown at him
• The Sting "Piece of Shit" version of Every Breath You Take. (which makes him yell loudly "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!", "Damn it" and "Holy Shit!")
• Switching Phone Companies (He doesn't want to switch phone companies)
• Having to live in a HELL-HOLE
• Shirlena playing with her tits and looking at her ass at the same time
• Shirlena planning to kick him in the balls
• Full House (he doesn't care for it anyway)
• Losing at Mortal Kombat
• Spilling his beer
• Hurting his neck after laughing
• Getting kicked out of Lens Crafters
• Managers calling him a dumbass (like they're his dad and shit!)
• Being out of the butt and into the fuck
• Coughing
• His neckstrap falling off
• His son falling down the stairs
• The mother fucker who named it Fashion Bug
• Shirlena (sometimes)
• Long-legged pissed off Puerto Ricans trying to break into his truck (he even called the police after one such incident occurred)
• His neighbors playing their music too loud
• People honking their horns too loud
• People wrinkling his Randy Travis poster
• Shirlena talking about his dick without his permission (much to his annoyance)
• The doctor knowing about something Danny thinks he doesn't need to know about
• Bees attacking him when he's trying to mow the lawn
• His lawn mower speeding away from him when he lets go of it
• Birds flying into his house (Holy Shit!)
• Head and Shoulders
• People knocking on his door when he's taking a shower (Wait a minute, you dick!)
• People knocking on his door when he's brushing his teeth
• The noise of the garbage disposal (in his opinion, it sounds more like Chewbacca taking a shit!)
• Having to turn his clocks back an hour (That Clock Is Full Of Shit!)
• Falling off his chair
• Lights turning off when he's working out
• His 93-year-old grandmother not knowing what Alf is (piece of crap in Danny's opinion)
• Giant blue M&Ms suddenly being there when he wakes up
• Porcupine's balls (They're small and don't give a shit)
• Falling out of bed
• Things falling on his head
• Being hit in the head with doors
• Losing the Lottery (Fuck!)
• People at his door asking him to fill out forms
• His son being overexcited when told he can get movie theater butter popcorn
• Peter Pan Peanut Butter alerts
• Being told he's not allowed to go where he pleases (primarily areas for employees only)
• Bumping his shopping cart into walls (especially if he drives it in reverse)
• Not being able to find the bathrooms of public places (especially supermarkets)
• His son telling him it's after 8:00
• His son telling him his house will smell like pickles
• His son telling him that celebrities may come over looking for him (especially Rick Moranis)
• His son telling him that he has to move his car (Aw, Shit!)
• His son telling him there's nothing to eat for breakfast
• People talking shit about Total
• People telling him to watch his mouth
• People telling him to watch his language (which makes him yell "Shut the hell up right now, bitch!")
• The surname 'Combs'
• Dennis (he's full of shit)
• His son not wearing a shirt (because according to him, when he doesn't wear a shirt, he looks like 200 pounds of bird shit!)
• Teletubbies butt-fucking his house when he's gone
• Thinking he's locked in the bathroom
• Having an ass (it's embarrassing as fuck)
• People asking him about his childhood heroes
• The phone ringing
• People offering to get him a towel
• His grandma jenelle being old as fuck (93 years old to be exact)
• His son not thinking that the garbage disposal sounds more like Chewbacca taking a shit
• His son saying 'shit' (much to his annoyance, as he specifically told him not to say that)
• Paper towels hitting him in the dick
• People asking him who's tits he's been grabbing that feel hard
• People bothering him while he's brushing his teeth
• Fish sticks being as hard as tits
• Looters and polluters
• People stealing fishing poles from his backyard
• His dad suggesting that he wears a different shirt for once in his life
• His dad calling him 'Baldy'
• His microwave not working
• People snickering at him while he's raging about his microwave not working
• Losing his 'fucking glasses'
• People mistaking tit-dirt for Mickey Mouse
• Accidentally setting car alarms off
• Preachers (he wants to shove a can of Pringles up their ass)
• Falling over while bowling
• People telling him to stop cussing because there's ladies around (there's ladies everywhere dumbass)
• Carrying hot pots without oven gloves
• Hitting his head on chandeliers
• Knocking over lamps
• Birds flying into his face
• Birds flying into his house (he even went crazy when his son reported one such incident to him)
• Being told he'll break everything in the whole house
• Being too pissed to give a shit about anything
• Being yelled "Fuck you!" by someone else (especially his dad and Shirlena)
• Ronald McGoddamn Donald
• George W. Bush (Colonel Cluster Fuck)
• People not liking his Freedom of Speech (to him, if people don't like it, then they can go fuck themselves!)
• Dick Cheney
• Donald Rumsfeld
• George Clooney
• Rick Moranis (4 Eyes)
• People breaking in and stealing over $500 worth of bull shit
• People offering him Twizzlers when he doesn't want any
• The Angry Janitor
• Greased Up Deaf Guys
• Valentine Sugar Cookies (possibly)
• People scaring the shit out of him
• Snakes
• Horses
• Kentucky (he doesn't give a shit about it anyway)
• People interrupting him when he's trying to read the newspaper
• People being in his way when he's trying to watch his favorite TV program
• Faggots trying to touch him
• People interrupting him when he's giving interviews
• His car breaking down and having a flat tire
• People asking him if he knows if Jiffy Lube is open on Sundays
• Spaghetti that sucks dick (especially Shirlena's)
• His son's sideburns
• His ex-wife fucking everybody in Bismark, ND (And her spaghetti sucked dick!)
• People asking him to google Limp Bizcuit when he's on the computer
• Being bumped from appearing on Wheel of Fortune
• Being charged a $4.62 franchise fee from Showtime when they said that he could have the first 2 months for free
• The Lottery (FUCK THE LOTTERY!)
• Being fucked by Dairy Queen (twice so far)
• Football Referee (Damn The Referee In the Ass!)
• Locked doors
• The woman that if she was a whore, she'd be a "Four Door Ford Whore!" (Possibly Shirlena)
• His son not knowing about the new Diet Coke
• Wheel of Fortune
• Vanna White (If he ever sees Vanna White in person, he'll call her a "Bitch")
• Fear Before The March Of Flames
• Fashion Bug
• Mr. Dingus (What's that dumbass want NOW?)
• Kylo Ren
• The pages of the phone book sticking together ("PISS")
• Dom Deluise ("Dom Deluise, he used to be a chef on TV, BUT NOW HE JUST SITS AT HOME, WITH HIS ASS UP HIS ASS!")
• People talking about his dick without his permission (especially Shirlena)
• His son dressing up as Freddy Krueger and scaring him
• His Dad acting like a dick
• The song Car Wash
• Mr. Bitch (He takes too long to walk)
• Bad News Brown (He looks like a big ass piece of shit)
• Mr. Perfect (He thinks his shit doesn’t stink)
• Cats
• The 80s roller hockey Kool-Aid commercial (He could shit a better Kool-Aid commercial)
• Hiccups (*HICCUP* SHIT)
• When the broom closet smells like ass
• Struggling to reach pens across the table
• His new neighbors that constantly call the cops on him
• Ice Cube (Why does he always look like he smells shit?!)
• The man who looks like Boss Hogg’s cock
• Roy Sullivan, the man who was struck by lightning seven times (“Ha! What a fucking dumbass!”)
• The Smart Aleck Salesman on the phone (“You can shove those “tomahtoes” up your fat ass”)
• His son reminding him of Knight Rider reruns showing on The Sci-Fi Channel.
• Charlie The Tuna (He’s an asswipe!)
• Fags knocking on his door
• Getting rear ended by a Shitty Mitsubishi
• The way Bob Golic’s butt looks in his tight ass jeans. (It’s really pissing him off!)
• The cameraman coming to his house, getting six sausages, six pancakes and three glasses of orange juice and proceeding to get on Danny’s bed and play with his ass.
• His other ex wife, some bitch named Barb
• His son asking what time is it (“It’s time for you to get a damn WAAAAAAAAATCH!”)
• His son making him a Father's Day breakfast in bed
• His Windows XP computer glitching out
• Crying when cutting up onions
• Untangling the extension cord
• Losing at board games

History

Danny was born on February 24, 1964 to his father (born 1935) and his mother (b. ?-d. ?). He acquired Tourettes Syndrome when he was ten years old in 1974. He met Shirlena (1984-1999) and had one son with her.

Danny was believed to have died in a car accident in August 2007. However, this rumor was proved false as he was imprisoned that same year. Beliefs of his death have also been disproved with the release of The Return of the Tourettes Guy Part One on Christmas Day 2009. This was followed up with The Return of the Tourettes Guy Part Two in April 2010, and Return of the Tourettes Guy Part Three was released December that year. Finally, in 2012, Return of the Tourettes Guy Part Four was released. On Halloween 2014, the Halloween episode was released. On Christmas Day 2014, another episode, titled "Speak English!!!" was released. A new video called "Make Confidence Your Bitch!" was released on April Fools Day 2016. Another new video “Tourettes Guy Gets The Hiccups” released on Christmas Day 2017 (For a tribute to Angry Grandpa's Death).

Quotes

[DIAL TONE]

Operator: "Colgate Consumer Affairs." 

Danny: "{slightly raised voice} Yes. I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. {considerably louder} And it made me feel, like a piece of shit!"

Operator: "Sir?" 

Danny: "This is bullshit!"

Operator: Sir, hold on one moment.

{puts Danny on hold}

[THE POLICE'S "EVERY BREATH

YOU TAKE" PLAYING]

Danny: I hope this is the Puff Daddy version of this song! Not that Sting... piece of shit!"

[♪♪♪]

{Danny bobs his head to the music for a few seconds then pauses}

Sting: ♪ Every breath you take ♪

Danny: "[SCREAMING] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAACK!! {chucks the Colgate toothpaste tubes down aggressively} Damn it! Holy shit!" 

Operator: "Sir?" 

Danny: "Balls!" 

Operator: "Sir, can you repeat your problem again?" 

Danny: "{much louder than the start} Yes. I bought your Colgate toothpaste.

The one with tartar control. And it made me feel like a piece of shit!"

Operator: "Sir, if you would like a refund of your product— {cut off mid-speech}" 

Danny: "{looks down} I pissed! {camera pans down to reveal a wet spot on the crotch area of his pants and he puts the telephone back on its stand} Fucking hung up my ass!"

Danny: "{at a drive-thru} I want two cheeseburgers. I want pickles, and ketchup on them. {leans out his window} And don't load it up with a bunch of bull shit!"

Cashier: "Okay, so, you want two cheeseburgers with pickles and ketchup. Will there be anything else?" 

Danny: "I want a biggie fries. {learns out his window again} And give me some shit to drink!"

Danny: "{taking a shower; his sentences have few-second breaks between} You... BITCH! Oh, SHIT! Oh, sh—PISS! {distraught} Oh, no... Head and Shoulders {voice returns back to rage} my... ASS! PISS! Holy piss! My COCK! You... bitch! Suck my... DICK! You... faggot! Fuck you! My dick! Or... COCK! Damn! {distraught} Oh, no... {voice returns back to rage} Fuck you, Head and Shoulders! You... FAGGOT! What do you think of my ass?! Lick my... BALLS! Shit! Shit! {distraught} Shit! You... Oh, SHIT! Shit! Piss! Damn it! Fuck you! {voice returns back to rage} Suck my cock, you bitch! Lick my balls! Bastard! My tits! You cunt! Oh, shit! {distraught} Fuck you..."

Danny: {in the bathroom brushing his teeth} Bullshit! {door knocking}

Danny: Wait a minute you asshole, I'm brushing my teeth! {more knocking}

Danny: Faggot! {more knocking}

Danny: Fuck! {more knocking}

Danny: Ass! {even more knocking}

Danny: Motherfucker, I'll kick your ass!

Son: Telephone. Danny: Fuck the phone! Bullshit!

Danny, shaking his toothbrush: Dick! I have balls! Bullshit. Bitch, {sticks middle finger at his mirror reflection} fuck you!

Son: "Yeah, he's cussin'." 

Danny: "{his son is running up the stairs} Shit! Ass! Damn it! {Danny is shown in a room as he opens a door with his right hand and drinking from a can in the other. He takes a pace forwards} Pissing out the window, and shitting out the window... {take a few more paces forwards in a confrontational manner} are 2 different things!" {Danny shoves his son down the stairs} 

Son: "Whoa, shit!" {he is shown at the bottom of the stairs} 

Danny: "I'll throw my shoe at your faggot ass! {Danny picks up a shoe with his right hand and throws it at his son}

Danny: "Oh, Bob Saget!"

Danny: {Danny walks down the basement stairs, wearing a stereotypical detective cloak} "Tonight, on Unsolved Mysteries, find out who gives a shit about Big Foot."

{Danny is bringing a one year supply of paper towels into the basement. They start to fall out of the box.} Danny: HOLY FUCK!!!. Shit

Danny: Fuck! fuck fuck fuck fuck (glass shatters) Danny: FUUUUCK!

Danny: Turn that shit down! PIISSSS! (neckbrace detaches) Oh, shit! Damn it!